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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/44780
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/44780
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I'm not sure what "hinted" means.

Nevertheless, to get rid of "he said" tags and "-ly" adverbs, preface the actual dialogue (in quotes) with a description of what he is doing (that gets rid of "reluctantly") and then have the dialogue immediately follow; it will be attributed to the person automatically.

If it is obvious who is speaking (which is usually, in a two-person conversation) you don't need the attribution either.

Examples:

> Pete threw another little stick on the fire. "Then I guess I'm not that kind of guy."
> 
> Angela looked up, but with her eyes closed. "Can you please for once just say what you mean?"

For your example, during sex:

> He looked hesitant. "Okay, I'll pull out now."  
> Michelle waited, but he didn't move, apparently waiting for her to tell him he didn't have to. She didn't say anything. Finally he did pull out, and rolled off her, a relief.  
> She sighed. "Thank you." She wasn't sure why she said that, it felt odd. She just meant it felt good to not be suffocated anymore.  
> "Are you mad at me?"  
> "No, but when I say get off, you know, get off. I need to breathe."  
> He nodded beside her. "Sorry. I just didn't want it to end."

This is a form of "show, don't tell". It will also help you avoid walls of dialogue; by interjecting visual action into the conversation. Remember, except on talk shows or newscasts, perhaps in formal meetings, people are not just talking heads, IRL they are more or less constantly _doing_ something while they are talking, or feeling something, or thinking about more than the words coming out of mouths. When one person says something, it triggers memories in others, visual memories, traumatic memories, funny memories, etc.

Because of this their responses are often not exactly on point with what was said or asked. They might ask a question the other person is not expecting. Or they don't get the point, or they bring up something else. Those kinds of things bring _realism_ to your dialogue.

Writing this way can take more words, but don't worry about that. Readers don't mind reading. And body language and actions can convey more subtle states of mind than adverbs or single words.

Original score: 5