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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/45429
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/45429
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Falling in love is generally a combination of sexual attraction, complementarity, and commonality.

**Friendship** is often founded on the last two; i.e. it is minus sexual attraction.

**Complementarity** is the reason sometimes people say "opposites attract", but that phrase is much too broad. Instead, complementarity is when people have different skills, but there is synergy: What one person lacks, the other has in spades. This makes them better (more functional, more expert) together than they they are alone. One might have number sense, the other people sense. One may be good at planning, the other is good at improvising. Together, they can become co-dependent, they each need the other to remain successful (however they define that).

Not everything opposite counts; e.g. opposite politics or different religions may just be a clash and source of friction they can't get over. Complementarity is usually about something you know is a weakness and you wish you didn't have.

**Commonality** is another form of synergy, and often how friendships begin. If you and I like the same kind of music, then by sharing it we double the chances of finding something great. _Rare_ commonality is an even stronger bond; if we are the only two in our workplace that like Brazilian Barbecue -- We don't have to go eat it alone.

Similarly for other tastes. However, not all commonalities are the same; if they are **too** common then there is nothing special about them to warrant a friendship or romance, because I can find that trait in plenty of people.

Finally, sexual attraction: It must be mutual; but it doesn't have to be instantaneous. Sometimes people we did not initially think were that attractive will _become_ more attractive when we start to value them for their personality, humor, intelligence, sympathy, bravery, or whatever complementary and commonality traits they possess. We grow accustomed to their appearance and mannerisms and whatever differences they had from our mental ideal of attractiveness seem to not matter any more. Love is blind.

So that is the lesson; let's apply it!

In your case, "harsh and cruel" would normally be a show-stopper, so I would make that a **commonality.** At least the understanding of why, in the hard world, it is a necessity, to not get walked on. His love interest may think "you gotta do what you gotta do, you let that shit slide and soon you're nothing."

As a commonality, it can even be the source of initial attraction: If he is the tougher guy or more famous, then maybe he admires his future partner when he spontaneously witnesses the partner getting tough with somebody, and throwing in a bit of cruelty on top of it. It makes your villain want to strike up a friendship. Buy them a drink. Trade some stories. Find out they have a few other things in common, including not being entirely evil.

For complementarity: The partner is good at something your villain isn't good at. This could, for example, just be humor, the partner's jokes make him laugh. Or it could be a class difference. Your villain grew up on mean streets, the partner did not, but wound up there due to some tragedy (e.g. his rich father went to prison and left them broke, or committed suicide because he lost everything).

The next step, after meeting, is thinking about the partner often. Then seeking them out. Then obsession; the partner is all he can think about.

It is a slideshow, but here is [13 Scientifically Proven Signs of Love](https://www.livescience.com/33720-13-scientifically-proven-signs-love.html), or Google for "Symptoms of Love". You don't have to use all of them, just pick a few that get the point across. (It also makes the point that lust and love are different phenomena: We can tell the difference in brain scans).

My main advice is you get past his "harsh and cruel" nature with mutual understanding, they BOTH get it. It isn't, at all, something the love interest needs to get over, it is actually something they admire and view as a strength, because that's how the world works. So your villain doesn't have to become a marshmallow, or be a sappy Romeo. He can be himself, eventually both the rough exterior and soft interior. He doesn't have to change, his soul mate loves him for his real self.

Original score: 7