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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/45537
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/45537
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Being upfront is about telling the truth, and unwilling to tell a white lie to preserve somebody's feelings.

Being a jerk is about being selfish and uncaring. They don't give a shit about anybody but themselves; physically or emotionally. They show no empathy if they hurt somebody's feelings. they are dismissive or worse, they ridicule and insult those that cry or feel hurt.

Your girl can be confident and always tell the truth, but it doesn't have to be the brutal truth. She may strive to tell the truth gently; but when the truth hurts, recognize that and try to sympathize.

At one extreme, think of a doctor having to tell a patient they have a terminal disease. The news is going to hurt, the truth must be told, but the doctor won't do it callously, or without feeling and sympathy.

That is what your girl is struggling with often; she feels compelled to tell the truth while **still caring about the feelings** of the person she is telling it. She doesn't have to take any pleasure in telling the truth. She may even tell the truth to _herself,_ maybe she knows this practice makes her seem mean but she can't help it, she is absolutely convinced that "Honesty is the best policy", and "Sunshine is the best disinfectant", and "It isn't always what you **don't** know that hurts you, it is what you know that isn't so."

And sometimes the truth can cost her friendships, or lovers. It might isolate her. But at least to the reader, she doesn't have to seem like a jerk or an asshole. This compulsion to tell the truth can be more of a flaw in the personality of good person, and at times it may be an asset. Sometimes the hard truth is what somebody needs.

Original score: 1