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Q&A How to write a vulnerable moment without it seeming cliche or mushy?

I think it depends on the build up whether it seems fake. The character shouldn't just jump to tears. They should go through the whole grief cycle. This should happen even maybe in the span of a si...

posted 5y ago by user2927848‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T12:01:55Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/45708
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar user2927848‭ · 2019-12-08T12:01:55Z (almost 5 years ago)
I think it depends on the build up whether it seems fake. The character shouldn't just jump to tears. They should go through the whole grief cycle. This should happen even maybe in the span of a single conversation to show how upset she is.

She should seem put off but hopeful she can change it or something isn't real. Then she should be stand offish but depressed as she comes to understand something isn't working out or isn't changing. Then she should be angry at the world or something in particular, potentially irrationally angry even at the person that eventually comforts her. How could he understand what she is going through?! Then finally she should break and the tears should flow. As the tears flow, despite being attacked, he pulls her close to his chest. He may not understand what she is angry about, but he understands _her_.

Have some build up showing this is brewing a bit before it suddenly unravels, or do each stage longer and over several days. Just depends on how you want this scene to exactly play out.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-06-03T19:00:25Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 0