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Q&A How to represent jealousy in a cute way?

Acknowledging that the top answer cautions controlling another person is abuse, and abuse is never cute, I'll try to suggest ways to minimize the issues. Avoid Blame: The lover is not at fault an...

posted 5y ago by wetcircuit‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T12:09:24Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/45879
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar wetcircuit‭ · 2019-12-08T12:09:24Z (over 4 years ago)
Acknowledging that the top answer cautions **controlling another person is abuse** , and **abuse is never cute** , I'll try to suggest ways to minimize the issues.

- **Avoid Blame** : The lover is not at fault and clearly not doing anything wrong. The protagonist can see this, and trusts the lover, but can't help having emotions about it. (Cue regular intervals with a therapist.)

- **Self-Deprecating** : Woody Allen (yikes!) made a career out of self-deprecating comedy. It worked for his neurotic characters, especially since many of his jokes seem like inner-monolog/commentary. The problems with using Woody Allen as an example is that his co-stars were extremely attractive women, and there's an undercurrent of real abuse and gaslighting sprinkled in to show that Allen's neurotic characters are not the victims they portray themselves to be. A particular line in **Manhattan** sets up a joke where Allen's character had followed Meryl Streep (his ex) on dates with her new girlfriend in his car, but the joke turns dark when she corrects the story by saying _he tried to kill them_ with his car.

- **The Lover is an extremely secure person** : the protagonist is allowed to be unreasonably jealous because the lover is unreasonably self-secure. They are a Rock of Gibraltar. No amount of commentary or jealousy will change how the lover feels or behaves. For this to feel real there would probably be a power difference between the 2 characters, like Woody Allen being involved with supermodels, or typical of 1950s comedies the jealous person has essentially no power in the relationship so their antics are reduced to hiding in bushes to overhear, and attempts to become sexier or more interesting that come off as strange or funny rather than sad and desperate.

- **Punch up, not down** : This goes for comedy in general, so how to apply it here? The jealous one is wealthy beautiful and successful. The lover is plain, simple, and domestic. Again it uses an unrealistic power difference to take away the stakes. Another way to do it is to make the point of jealousy the one thing the perfect character doesn't do well, like cook. It's sort of a trope reversal on the Woody Allen character where the neurotic is such a perfectionist at all things that the jealousy is over something that should be trivial, like the husband complimenting another woman's rhubarb pie, so the perfectionist becomes obsessed with baking (and failing) to win back her lover's attention through deserts.

- **It's their job** : the lover's job is that he plays a Casanova on television, or she's promoted as a "love goddess" like Marilyn Monroe. The truth is they are homebodies, lovingly faithful, and painfully shy, but of course as actors they can't disappoint their fans and must the play the role in public appearances and publicity "scandals". The jealous one's rival is abstract, it's the _job_ and the _fame_ that creates the tension, and again the lover is not at fault.

- **Don't dwell on it** : A small outburst is like a yelp of pain – sometimes we cry out before we realize we're not actually hurt. Let the jealous one object, but then retract when they realize they are probably over-reacting. It can look cute because it's like showing their cards too early in the relationship. They are already signaling how they feel when the situation suggests they should be playing it more casually.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-06-10T14:23:12Z (almost 5 years ago)
Original score: 14