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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/45893
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/45893
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Make each of the three, full well-rounded characters who have multiple interactions with not just each other but other people. And with distinct and believable personalities. Show how the two treat the woman and how it changes over time.

Your goal is for the reader to gradually figure out what is going on. There can be a tipping point, but the realization shouldn't be sudden. Let the reader ponder about motivations. Maybe even argue them in groups dedicated to your book (we should all be so lucky). The basic motivations are there but the full understanding should take some work.

I'd avoid ever using the term "gaslighting." But astute readers will know how to name the behaviors. Assuming that the Paragon is actually gaslighting vs victim blaming...both actions are lies but they aren't the same thing by a longshot. Telling someone she caused or deserved what happened may be a lie designed to manipulate her into action, but actual gaslighting isn't just about psychology, it's about making the victim doubt her (or his) grasp on reality.

For example, in one popular book/movie, a man gaslights his alcoholic wife. She drinks enough that she has periods she doesn't remember, or at least was woozy enough that she can believe there was a time gap from the night before. He fills in the gaps for her.

A (merely) emotionally destructive man would tell her she embarrassed him and herself. That nobody likes being around her. That she shouldn't go to the next outing, that no one wants her there.

A gaslighter, as this man is, tells stories of how she yelled at the host and flung plates of food at the walls in front of dozens of horrified guests. Things that never happened, not even in a lesser way. This and other stories like it are designed to make her not trust herself when she drinks (because she might harm someone) and to destroy any potential support she may have. It makes her doubt every memory she's ever had, because she can never seem to remember when she's been violent, and her own sanity.

## So, no, don't explain the reasons for the gaslighting. Make them available to an invested reader.

Original score: 6