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Q&A Should I write in a style that is more conducive to a situation I am describing or write it the way I normally write?

I am writing a short story that describes a dream that I had as a child. I wrote a first rough draft and had my girlfriend read it to give me some feedback. One thing she criticized is my writing s...

1 answer  ·  posted 5y ago by user3661841‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T12:09:56Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/45894
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar user3661841‭ · 2019-12-08T12:09:56Z (almost 5 years ago)
I am writing a short story that describes a dream that I had as a child. I wrote a first rough draft and had my girlfriend read it to give me some feedback. One thing she criticized is my writing style, saying that I type too formally, which she said felt out of place for the events in the story. The story is in the first person with the dream being described as if I were telling it to people sitting by a campfire.

I know that there is no right or wrong way, but just for the sake of being engaging, should I change how I write or continue the way I feel comfortable?

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-06-10T21:29:07Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 11