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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/46132
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/46132
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I think the bigger problem with your story is that it sets the wrong **reader expectations**. Readers come into the story not having _any_ idea what will be payed off, except maybe some hopes of what the story will be about based on your title, cover art, and synopsis.

They can only go off of what you give them. The things you put in the opening chapter, the things you spend time on. So when the character's motivating question is "Where's my brother," they understand her through the light of someone who is seeking. They have expectations based upon what you've given them.

If her journey then ends up being something else, why did you start there? Is it possible you started too early? Your opening chapters are essential to setting up a satisfying story. Don't waste them on a subplot.

Yes, your lack of payoff could work, but only if it's intentionally a message by itself. Perhaps make it part of the character's arc: she has decided she no longer cares. If she walked right up to the door of her long-awaited answer and then turned away without opening it, that would be payoff. Depending on how you contextualize it, she could be angry at him and decide she doesn't care what the hell happened, or she could realize that she doesn't need to know anymore and can still live a satisfied life. But notice that in either case, she has still changed as a result of her search. There's still payoff.

Mary Robinette Kowal stresses the idea of opening and closing promises in reverse order. If you start with the brother's disappearance (from an emotional standpoint), you should also end there. If putting it at the end is going to take away from the feeling you want to leave with the reader, then I suspect you've chosen the wrong opening and should work it in somewhere else.

Original score: 4