Post History
How do we follow up a description within a descriptive text with another description? Let's say you mention A and B in the first sentence, and then follow up with a long description of B, how do yo...
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T12:17:32Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/46215 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
blackbird
·
2019-12-08T12:17:32Z (about 5 years ago)
How do we follow up a description within a descriptive text with another description? Let's say you mention A and B in the first sentence, and then follow up with a long description of B, how do you then introduce the description of A without leading to an unpleasant change of flow. For example: > The old man gave a lecture in front of the class. **The class was a really small classroom with a handful of seats, the windows gave a view, a nice view of the outside, and illuminated the classroom, which had a depressing atmosphere to say the least, almost creepy in a way. The desks were very old and stank of mice and burning.** The old man had a very strange demeanor as he was talking. He held his chin high and sometimes would find himself lost in thought, which made the students wonder if all his head was in there. As you can see there's a bad change of flow when I go back to the old man. Is there something I can do about it?
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-06-25T01:47:59Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 3