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If you're trying to have it feel less like the second description is interrupting the first, I'd recommend pulling out the description of B (the classroom) and making its own paragraph, establishin...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-14T20:45:28Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/46217 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T12:17:33Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/46217 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
If you're trying to have it feel less like the second description is interrupting the first, I'd recommend pulling out the description of B (the classroom) and making its own paragraph, establishing the setting for A (the old man) before going on to describe him. So your example could be written like this: > The class was held in a tiny classroom with a handful of seats. The windows gave a nice view of the outside and illuminated the classroom, which had a depressing atmosphere to say the least, almost creepy in a way. The desks were very old and stank of mice and burning. (Description B, the classroom.) > > At the front of the room, an old man was giving a lecture. He had a very strange demeanor as he was talking. He held his chin high and sometimes would find himself lost in thought, which made the students wonder if all his head was in there. (Description A, the old man.) In general, try to have one description build the foundation for the next.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-06-25T02:29:49Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 6