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Q&A Should fiction mention song names and iPods?

There's nothing wrong with mentioning specific songs or tech in this way. And while it's not lazy writing to use songs as a tool for conveying a character's mood it is to rely on them solely. Expe...

posted 5y ago by motosubatsu‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-13T15:32:55Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/46263
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T12:17:41Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/46263
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T12:17:41Z (almost 5 years ago)
There's nothing wrong with mentioning specific songs or tech in this way.

And while it's not lazy writing to use songs as a tool for conveying a character's mood it is to rely on them solely. Expecting the reader to take them listening to a particular song as meaning they are sad just isn't going to work (unless you've already somehow established that as being their go-to "I'm sad" listen!). Humans can have both semantic and episodic musical memory and the contents of both will vary from person to person.

**Semantically** the Gary Jules cover of _Mad World_ for me is things like who played the piano (Michael Andrews), what film it was recorded for (_Donnie Darko_), when it was released (2003) and so on. It's _facts_ not _emotion_. For the emotional aspects you have to go to the **episodic** memory - and for me those are happy memories (I enjoyed the movie, I saw it at a happy period in my life etc.)

So if you're looking for a reader (in this case me) to realize your character is sad and to empathize with them you're out of luck.

And if I'm honest there really isn't much else in the snippet to point me that way either:

> The Autumn leaves were falling

Tells me the time of year - it doesn't really convey much about _mood_ though. You can use weather to help establish mood but rarely in isolation. Autumn leaves are not in themselves inherently sad - they are a popular tourist attraction in parts of the United States!

> as I was sitting alone

Tells me the POV character is alone. Unless there's preceding information that this likely to be something that they either do when depressed or is something that would _cause_ them to be depressed it indicates nothing more or less than that they are alone in this scene.

Your comment on another answer:

> Actually, I have already made it clear to the reader that she is under depression and in just next paragraph I had added emo-lines from the song.

Confirms that we are firmly in "lazy writing" territory here. At a wild guess I'm going to say those quoted lines include either:

> Their tears are filling up their glasses

or

> The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had

or both. You aren't using _your_ words to show me how the character feels - you're using someone else's. If the intent is to show that the _character_ is a person who takes "emo" lines to heart as if they are y'know..really **deep** , then that's a different thing and I don't think that's what you are aiming for.

You've got scenic elements in the snippet that _could_ be used to provide a lens on the character's mood and state of mind - you just need to take those opportunities:

> I was sitting by myself, watching the autumn leaves fall. The piano notes of Gary Jules' _Mad World_ playing on my iPod giving each slowly tumbling leaf a melancholy sound track which suited my mood. I was alone.

There's the same key elements of your original but they are tied together - and to the character's state of mind to set the scene. You can tell that the character is feeling melancholy by how they perceive their surroundings.

Also note that the attributes of the song that are necessary for the effect are described. That way it may be _beneficial_ for the reader to have heard the song but it's not _required_. In the original wording if the reader is unfamiliar with the song, or potentially even worse if they are merely familiar with the _original_ version of the song,(which is an upbeat synth-pop track!) you risk conveying no emotional cues or even opposite emotional cues to what you intend.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-06-26T13:17:58Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 5