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Yes, your characters should speak naturally, not as if they were reading a formal piece of writing out loud. But that doesn't mean you won't edit it. Take the example of radio interviews. They r...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-20T00:40:46Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/46349 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T12:19:48Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/46349 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
Yes, your characters should speak naturally, not as if they were reading a formal piece of writing out loud. But that doesn't mean you won't edit it. Take the example of radio interviews. They routinely edit out pauses, um's, and you knows. This creates speech that is easier to listen to. After all, someone whose speech has a lot of filler can be hard to listen to, even in person. It's fine to keep some of the filler in. Like in your example where the "you know" is deliberate and has meaning. Most of the time when we say it, it's a way of filling a pause. Or the "umm" in Jay's example. As Jay says, leaving it in changes the meaning of the sentence. Not grammatically, but as a whole, along with body language and context. Writing filler is like writing accents. You want to be careful with how much you use it. But it's something that's there all the time, whether you draw your reader's attention to it or not. Don't make it a distraction and you'll be fine.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-06-28T20:53:03Z (almost 5 years ago)
Original score: 3