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Q&A Any Tips On Writing Extended Recollection In A Novel

If you're writing from the patient's POV, it's probably easier. You can show the patient's unfiltered reactions and thoughts to the doctor's questions before writing the patient's answer. "So, ...

posted 5y ago by SC for reinstatement of Monica‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T12:20:12Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/46354
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar SC for reinstatement of Monica‭ · 2019-12-08T12:20:12Z (over 4 years ago)
If you're writing from the patient's POV, it's probably easier. You can show the patient's unfiltered reactions and thoughts to the doctor's questions before writing the patient's answer.

> "So, when was the first time that happened?"
> 
> "A month ago," he said automatically.
> 
> The doctor made a note and he frowned, the confidence of a moment waning. There had been that situation last year... but did it count? After all, he hadn't really felt much affected then. A month ago, he'd spent the night awake, reliving the event, whereas the previous year... No. Last year didn't count.
> 
> "A month ago," he confirmed out loud to shup up the annoying memory of the previous year.

* * *

You should avoid long dialogues between the two characters. Use a variation of direct speech and reported speech (in its different forms).

> "Can you describe last month's event in more detail?"
> 
> He shrugged that it hadn't been anything that serious.
> 
> "I didn't even think about it during the entire day. It was only at night that it came back to me."
> 
> He breathed out the anxiety caused by the memory and described how the driver in front of him had braked and left the car, shouting obscenities. He could see the scene before him as if it were a film, down to the guy's white sneakers and how the whiskers were slightly more reddish than his mousy brown hair. Obviously he didn't give that detailed an account, referring only the actual actions, the expression of rage and the vocal threats, minus the expletives.
> 
> "I think I was simply too shocked to feel anything at the time."
> 
> He laughed at the doctor's question if he hadn't even locked the car. It was something he did since he'd first started driving. You don't get rolling till every door is dutifully locked. The doctor made another note, mumbling something about safety measures.

* * *

If the recollections are to be longer you could still do the transition as above, perhaps moving to a new paragraph.

> "Can you describe last month's event in more detail?"
> 
> He shrugged that it hadn't been anything that serious.
> 
> "I didn't even think about it during the entire day. It was only at night that it came back to me."
> 
> He breathed out the anxiety caused by the memory.
> 
> He had been listening to the radio to get over the boredom of the traffic jam. There was a reference to the previous day's game and he was paying so much attention to the commentator that he barely registered the hooting cars around him.
> 
> "That guy's a jerk," Jenny, who was sittin next to him, grumbled.
> 
> But he still didn't pay attention to what was happening. Not until Jenny dropped a scared 'shit' did he look up to see what was happening ahead.

After an even long scene, you can cut it short with the doctor simply asking a question. It'll bring both the character and the reader crashing down into reality.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-06-29T10:34:07Z (almost 5 years ago)
Original score: 5