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Redundancy is neither good nor bad. It either works for you or doesn't. In your brief lines, you have a lot of redundancy that, not knowing the context, can probably be removed without sacrificing ...
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#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T12:26:02Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/46645 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Ken Mohnkern
·
2019-12-08T12:26:02Z (almost 5 years ago)
Redundancy is neither good nor bad. It either works for you or doesn't. In your brief lines, you have a lot of redundancy that, not knowing the context, can probably be removed without sacrificing understandability. > "Here's the chip. It's very old so make sure you take care of it." "In question" isn't needed. The handing over of the chip isn't needed; it's implied with "here's the chip" and in the next sentence the other character will pocket it so it's clear that he has it. Seems to me that there's no need to linger on that sentence any longer than that. Just pass the coin and get on with the story.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-07-15T17:16:52Z (over 5 years ago)
Original score: 1