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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47186
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47186
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

# Diagnosis is hard; mirror mood with style

Even with the increased sensibility of our times towards these conditions, I would still have a hard time discerning a person with BPD from a random attention-seeking drama queen. Unless you clearly state that your character has a medical condition, or mention such a possibility at some point, a medically untrained reader like me may completely miss this point.

That being said, there are some stylistic tools that can help you portray the situation. The idea is that the narrator changes both the style and the depiction of the world to reflect the character's mood. You do it subtly, but it will give the reader the unconscious cue that will help relate to the MC. Note that this works for first person POV as well as third person.

My suggestion is to adapt the choice of words to the mood that the character is in at that moment of the narration. If MC is happy, use positive sentences, remark positive elements in the surroundings. If the MC is thoughtful, lengthen your sentences, focus on the inner thoughts of the characters, ignore what happens around then. If MC is angry, use superlatives, short sentences, rough words, a raw and uncouth style.

In this way you will not need to always show what the MC is doing or saying:

> (happy) it was a bright and warm morning. Birds were chirping from the magnolia trees. The flowers were a lovely pink vault against the sky, like a fragrant monument to spring. And the bees were bathing in pollen. (Sudden change to angry) The ugly buzzing stingers. Roaming free. Dangerous and unrepentant. MC hated them. Hated their noise. Their look. Their squishy juices.

Original score: 4