Post History

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47836
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47836
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

I suspect your problem is a lack of story. Sex can be central to your story, but what stories are **about** is generally a problem the protagonist is compelled (or feels compelled) to solve.

None of the stories you provide seem to fit the profile of a story.

- MC's normal world (a virgin in love)
- Inciting Incident (losing virginity) grows into Problem
- Problem forces MC out of their normal world metaphorically or physically
- Attempts and failures ensue, the story becomes more complicated with increasing risk
- solutions begin to be found, the story becomes less complicated
- The MC knows enough to conquer the problem, but it takes a big risk
- confrontation and resolution

Losing virginity may be an Inciting Incident that leads to complications, like increasingly wild sex addiction, obsessively in search of ever more powerful orgasms, but it should be presented **as a problem,** even if the MC doesn't realize what she is doing, the reader should be aware.

If your Inciting Incident is sexual, the story is about sex, in some way; sex creates the problem in some way.

A spy thriller with sex in it would begin differently. The Normal World in the opening should still give some hints about the characters and the problems they will face, but the Inciting Incident (occurring around 10% to 15% of the full story length) should be about the spy aspect, not the sex.

You can still use sex (and love if there is any) within a spy thriller, these are very useful devices for motivations, for character growth, for creating complications. I would say "love" is the most popular of motivational device in novels, the hero saving someone they love. You don't have to explain that motivation **at all** , and many stories do not.

Sexual attraction and/or gratification are also major motivators, few people need an explanation **_why_** MCs take action in pursuit of sex.

If you are writing a spy thriller, you can use sex in it, as a tool, as a motivator, as an end in itself, but the main story arc should be the spy game, not so much the nature of the sex.

IRL Sex is likely a prominent tool in spy craft we just don't hear much about, compromising someone with sexual indiscretion and blackmail, or even with love (or what the victim thinks is love), seems like a no-brainer.

You need to pick a story lane and stay in it.

And FWIW, I would avoid what sounds like an unhappy ending in the sex story; in the modern world, unhappy endings sell at 1/10th the volume of happy endings for a reason, not many people find unhappy endings satisfying. For most people, they want their hero to overcome daunting odds and perhaps become a better person, or make the world safer. So much so that even a lot of horror stories end with a win for the MC, perhaps a Pyrrhic victory, but a victory nonetheless.

Original score: 0