Post History

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47829
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47829
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

Erotica is not a genre I read, but the lusting male gaze in some fantasy and sci-fi - I cannot say that I always find it offensive. On the contrary - I can find it quite pleasant. **I want to be lusted after this way.**

Which is, I think, the key to your question: consider how a woman would want to be wanted, and how she wouldn't want to be wanted.

What are some differences?

- Heinlein's characters, for example, never consider that a woman might not be interested. _Of course_ she is, or will be. Which is to say the woman has no character, no agency. She isn't a person, but an object with no will. That - I don't like.
- A man might be attracted to a woman's appearance, but she has other character traits, doesn't she? A man might be drawn by a woman's wit, strength, the way she moves. Or he might be repulsed by her cruelty, no matter how pretty she is. When a woman is nothing but a chunk of meat or a barbie doll, it is disturbing.
- There is the question of consent. Wanting to "do things to her" is objectifying. Wanting to do things _with_ her, or have her do things to the guy is more interesting.

Which all boils down to: **in the man's thoughts, treat the woman as a person, not an object.** Men, for the most part, want women rather than sex dolls. Women want to be wanted as women, definitely not sex dolls. Win-win.

Original score: 32