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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/47902
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

> How should this fall from grace be represented and done better?

"Better" is a subjective term, but the more general question "how do I represent a fall from grace?" can be answered.

To me it sounds you're writing a tragedy, and your not-the-Messiah is undergoing what is called a [negative character arc](https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/negative-character-arc-1/). It's a type of arc in which a character starts in a good place (god's Chosen one) and at the end of the story ends up somewhere worse (having led astray mankind due to his personal failings).

The article I linked to describes three types of negative arc in great detail and it's good to read through it in its entirety. (As is always the case with writing advice, don't take any of it for gospel. Or worse, as a recipe or checklist.) But the main thing to take away from it is that your character should have a Want and a Need.

The Want is something your character, well, wants, and stems from some lie the character believes. The Need is not a tangible thing and ties into some sort of truth that, at the start of the story, the character either rejects or is unaware of. In most stories the main character is ultimately forced into making a mutually exclusive choice between his Want and Need. In a tragedy, the character clings to his lie, rejects the Need and chooses the want.

The trick to writing a negative arc, then, is in defining the Want and Need and how they interact with one another in the story. Generating those ideas is all up to you. But if you need a worked example, the Want could be "establish a kingdom in God's name and rule it myself". The Need could be "learn humility." And they come to a clash when the not-the-Messiah's enemies join forces and storm the besiege his kingdom with overwhelming force. The only way for the MC and his kingdom to survive is through an act of god, so he goes to the nearest temple and makes a sacrifice to his god.

God is irate at the corrupted kingdom the MC has built for himself, but is not without mercy. If the MC renounces his heretical title and casts his wealth on the sacrificial pyre, all children under the age of 12 and unwed women shall be saved. The MC chooses not to; he'd rather die on his sword than surrender his kingdom. The invading forces break through the city's gate and slaughter every last man, woman and child.

Original score: 1