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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/48127
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

So, I was doing a writing excersie, I came up with, to help me with sentence structuring and developing my style. One thing, I ran into, however, was that I couldn't describe pain very well.

> The knight sunk the sword into the dragon’s chest. Gyvaris jolted back, his eyes widened in horror as he peered down. The sword was still lodged into him, painted crimson by his gushing blood. Just how far did it go? His stomach twisted. He felt heat, heat that mixed with cold as it pierced deep into him. Too deep. Then it hit him. Gyvaris screamed louder than ever before in his life. He collapsed on his side, sending another wave of agony through him. His body was waving as it grasped for oxygen. His air sacs must have been punctured and now they were filling up with blood. The pain became more unbearable and the cold just grew with the puddle of his own blood. Why? Why did he have to end up like that? Why did he have to live through this? Why? He just wanted it to be over. He just wanted to die.

I'm not exactly proud of it.

Before you ask, no! I'm not going to mutilate myself nor pretend that stepping on a piece of Lego is as painful as having your leg torn off.

Yet I want to somewhat realistically portray suffering, both physical and mental.

I usually work with more focus on the mental aspect as that seems to help with sympathy, which in terms amplifies the effect of the physical aspect.

I decided to listen to a TED talk while editing the snippet in LibreOffice. It was about a lady who was almost stabbed to death with a machete. When she said she feels like people would never truly understand her, any mustered up courage went down the drain on my part.

I know how to collect info on what it feels like to be impaled with a HB pencil, and as a writer I have to be familiar with everything, but I'm still unsure how long does my already short creative license extend here. Sure, dragon physiology can be a neat excuse but still.

**How can I describe pain, I never lived through, in-depth without coming off as disingenuous?**

Note: This question is focusing more on making the description of pain and injury feel natural, be it external or internal.

## Update

Since I received a lot of tips, I decided to create an edited version of the snippet for demonstration.

> The knight sunk the sword into the dragon’s chest. Gyvaris jolted back, his eyes widened in horror as he peered down. The sword was still lodged into him only the crossguard sticking out, painted crimson by his gushing blood. Just how far did it go? His stomach twisted. He felt heat, heat that mixed with cold as it pierced deep into him. Too deep. Trembling, he fell on his haunches, then it hit him. Gyvaris screamed louder than ever before in his life. He collapsed on his side. Blood squirted from the wound. Gyvaris writhed on the ground, clawing and kicking at the knight, tearing up grass and unlucky wildflowers with his spaded tail. Gritting teeth he rolled on his belly and pushed himself up. His legs buckled and he fell back. His body was waving as it grasped for oxygen. Yet, after each breath he took, each step he made up, he was pulled down further. The pain became more unbearable and the cold grew with the puddle of his own blood. His vision blurred, whether from his tears, he didn’t know. Someone shouted in the distance, or nearby? He couldn’t tell. Why? Why did he have to end up like this? Why did he have to suffer this? Why?

I tried to create a strong image with this. Since punctured lungs aren't as visual as a beheading, I tried to capture Gyv's confusion and hopeless struggle.

Original score: 5