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Q&A How to hint at an antagonist's identity?

Pick one thing that all the characters have in common, and I'd make it subtle. In dialogue, Loki has a favorite word, perhaps a curse, that no other character in the book uses. You might also give ...

posted 5y ago by Amadeus‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-19T22:13:56Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/48578
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T13:08:31Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/48578
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/
#2: Initial revision by (deleted user) · 2019-12-08T13:08:31Z (about 5 years ago)
Pick **one thing** that all the characters have in common, and I'd make it subtle. In dialogue, Loki has a favorite word, perhaps a curse, that no other character in the book uses. You might also give him a grammatical quirk, that no other character uses, and if any imitate him, he punishes them for mocking him.

Find something you can use fairly often, the equivalent in American English of "fuck" or "shit", a generic all-purpose curse, and in moments of anger or frustration he lets slip his ten-thousand year old version of it.

Don't be heavy-handed, with visual cues like eyes and lip scars, there is no need. The audience will pick up on this **one thing.**

Now you might think, this could be a family thing or cult thing, all these people might be a related group. But that is easily defeated with standard prose; whichever mask Loki is wearing, he has the same unique memories and experiences, and you can find opportunity for him to reference something he did in Mask A, while he is in Mask B, in a setting where we are inclined to believe he is telling the truth. For example As B, Loki casually explains to a collaborator what he personally saw in Chicago, but the reader knows it was Mask A that saw that.

Don't try to be so explicit, leave clues and the reader will figure it out, and it will be more fun for them than if you are heavy-handed about making sure they get it.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-10-16T13:34:51Z (about 5 years ago)
Original score: 0