Post History
I'm having trouble with a particular sentence in my book. I had originally written: Monica’s group of friends was a diverse mixture of race, gender, and background. Having once been described as l...
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T13:09:16Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/48583 License name: CC BY-SA 4.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Morne Rooschuz
·
2019-12-08T13:09:16Z (almost 5 years ago)
I'm having trouble with a particular sentence in my book. I had originally written: _Monica’s group of friends was a diverse mixture of race, gender, and background. Having once been described as looking like a United Colours of Benetton commercial, the group embraced the attempted insult and called themselves the CUBs._ The second sentence is the issue. It's a bit wordy and some people seem to have an issue with the fact that United Colours of Benetton is UCB, not CUB. I can simplify the sentence to: _Monica’s group of friends was a diverse mixture of race, gender, and background. They had named themselves the Cubs, after once being described as looking like a United Colours of Benetton advertisement._ I'm left with the issue of still not lining up the letters. Many acronyms and abbreviations shuffle the letters around to look better, so should I worry about adding more text to describe that, or should I just leave it and hope most readers don't care about the order?
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-10-16T17:09:24Z (about 5 years ago)
Original score: -2