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I see nothing wrong with this, provided the dialogue and the responding action flow together neatly. Your example is a bit stilted, but if you connect them like so: "Move!" he barked, and I imm...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-12T21:42:33Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/48704 License name: CC BY-SA 4.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T13:10:31Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/48704 License name: CC BY-SA 4.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/
#2: Initial revision
I see nothing wrong with this, provided the dialogue and the responding action flow together neatly. Your example is a bit stilted, but if you connect them like so: > "Move!" he barked, and I immediately stepped aside. ...that flows a lot better, in my opinion. This also works if Character A says something, Character B reacts, and then Character A says something else in response to the reaction. Something like: > "Move!" he barked. I immediately stepped aside, and he brushed past me with a slightly more polite, "Thank you." If, however, Character B is the next character to speak, you should start a new paragraph in order to link their action with their consequent dialogue: > "Move!" > > I immediately stepped aside, and he brushed past me without saying a word. "You're welcome," I muttered sarcastically.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-10-24T12:22:52Z (about 5 years ago)
Original score: -1