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I'm struggling trying to write a scene (fiction novel). I want to know if it would be confusing to write it this way: Paul shook his head, yanked away. “Sure it is, Mike. You left me there,” he...
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T13:11:25Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/48753 License name: CC BY-SA 4.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
WannabeWriter
·
2019-12-08T13:11:25Z (over 4 years ago)
I'm struggling trying to write a scene (fiction novel). I want to know if it would be confusing to write it this way: > Paul shook his head, yanked away. “Sure it is, Mike. You left me there,” he looked out of the window, “with her.” > > He heard Mike sigh. “I’m sorry. Things between your mother and me weren’t good, and quite honestly, I wasn’t ready to be a father yet. We were still kids ourselves." Paul felt Mike's hand on his shoulder. "I can't take back the things I've done." I'm writing from Paul's POV, what he hears/feels as Mike is talking to him. Is it clear that Mike is the one speaking? Or is it confusing?
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2019-10-28T18:16:40Z (over 4 years ago)
Original score: 1