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Q&A Examples of dialog beats and bookism

I was wondering if there is a list of ideas on how to add beats to dialog. For example: "Listen to me!", John said excitedly. "We can sell all these coins now and get rich today." He got clos...

2 answers  ·  posted 5y ago by Ari‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T13:12:42Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/48833
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Ari‭ · 2019-12-08T13:12:42Z (almost 5 years ago)
I was wondering if there is a list of ideas on how to add beats to dialog. For example:

> "Listen to me!", `John said excitedly.` "We can sell all these coins now and get rich today." `He got closer to Sarah.` "Let me take care of it for you, ok?", `he said as he lowered his voice.`
> 
> "But what are the risks?", `Sarah said shifting in her chair.` "I'm sure it wouldn't be that simple."

My question is what are some alternatives that can be replaced for beat phrases like `"John said excitedly"` or `"Sarah said shifting in her chair"`. What are other things that people do while they talk? My list of things to add are short and I quickly run out of them. I really want them to add something to the scene and the character rather than just to break a long monologue.

Here are a few things that I have on my list:

- Replacing "said" with [other words](http://www.spwickstrom.com/saidexamples/)
- Doing something to their body: `scratching head`, what else??
- Doing various things with their props (glasses, cigarettes, etc.)
- Moving (shifting in the chair, getting closer to the other person, etc.) , what else??
- Saying (adverb)ly, like `he said excitedly.`
- Saying while there is a change in their body language or body: `she said smiling` or `she said with a twinkle in her eye` , what else??
- What else?

My problem is usually with the second or third beat in a monologue:

> "Listen to me!", John said excitedly. "We can sell all these coins now and get rich today." He said as he got even more excited. "Let me take care of it for you, ok?", he said as he lowered his voice. "I can make you rich Sarah, just trust me!" `----[usually harder to add beat phrases here]---` "I have made many people rich in the past. I know how this is done." `----[usually harder to add beat phrases here]---`

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2019-11-04T15:58:32Z (about 5 years ago)
Original score: 1