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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/48841
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/48841
License name: CC BY-SA 4.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/4.0/

In general, do not give a laundry list of features. The reason for this is you are asking the reader to _memorize_ a lot of stuff that is disconnected from the story.

In order to connect their features to the story, you should have a reason that feature makes a difference: If I picture a short man, I will invent reasons that shortness has some impact on him, in practice. There is an example in an American commercial where a rather short well known comedian in a grocery store has difficulty reaching the upper shelf to get something he wants, then pretends he actually wanted something else on a lower shelf.

If her skin is amber, why does that matter? Instead of telling us, you can invent some reason for somebody else to mention it. If she has blue eyes, maybe that is something her lover is attracted to. Maybe somebody comments on her unusual eye color, and she doesn't like it, because to her eye color doesn't mean anything.

If you dole out the descriptions in the story, and **connect** them to her emotional state and how people react to her, then the reader, visualizing the scene, remembers these features. It will also naturally force you to spread them out to some extent, because it is hard to make every feature you want to get out there to all matter in some particular scene.

It is true that any physical feature your character has that will have an impact on the story **later** should be introduced early, but not "as early as possible". Early means in the setup, so no later than the first 20% of the story. Especially if the feature has consequences later in the story.

Also, in describing features, it is always best if you can "show" the feature through the actions or words of _other_ characters, not the narrator. The more indirectly the better.

If she's beautiful, don't tell us that. Show us she is beautiful by how others react to her. One degree of indirection is having a character say she is beautiful. Two degrees (and better) is nobody says it, but people act it: When she walks into a room, a man looks at her, rapt, so long that his date notices and punches him, then glares at our MC, who thinks, _I don't want your guy, sweetheart, I'm just going to pee._

The same goes if she is not that attractive, or for any other feature. Don't tell us, make it important to some story moment, so it reveals something about her character. The above thought could be followed by, _I should take him, though, I'd be doing you a favor in the long run._

Which would show something about her character. she's not dumb, she knows the ogler is going to cheat on his girlfriend sooner or later, and she's quite confident she _could_ take the girl's boyfriend if she wanted to. And she has an altruistic side, she's thinking of the welfare of a stranger even though the girl is glaring at her.

So she _knows_ she's attractive, and she knows how to use it, but I wouldn't have **told** you that, I am showing it by the nature of her natural thoughts.

Original score: 5