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"Better" is subjective. Reading popular authors will show you that adverbs are OK--and sometimes quite good--to use. For example, it would be difficult to rephrase something like They rarely spoke ...
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#3: Post edited
by
DPT
·
2020-01-22T18:22:39Z (over 4 years ago)
- "Better" is subjective. Reading popular authors will show you that adverbs are OK--and sometimes quite good--to use. For example, it would be difficult to rephrase something like *They rarely spoke* in a way that was as succinct without adverbs.
- To your examples, it will depend on context. And on the viewpoint character, assuming this is a limited narrative and not omniscient.
- *He smiled patronizingly at them* might (or might not) be perfect depending on your context. But, if your story is littered with adverbs from wall to wall, then sure, you might want to find some to cut and this might be one of them.
- *He had a patronizing smile on his face* feels wordy. Redundant. Where else would the smile be? *He wore a patronizing smile* might be better.
Both examples are distant, removed, external. They almost feel omniscient. If that's the goal, great! The novels I read would be more likely to state this as an emotional response or judgment or internal experience, again depending on viewpoint. More along the lines of:- *God, how she hated it when he flashed that patronizing smile.*
- or:
- *He smiled, knowing full well it would come off as patronizing and not giving a single damn.*
- But, again, it will depend on context.
- "Better" is subjective. Reading popular authors will show you that adverbs are OK--and sometimes quite good--to use. For example, it would be difficult to rephrase something like *They rarely spoke* in a way that was as succinct without adverbs.
- To your examples, it will depend on context. And on the viewpoint character, assuming this is a limited narrative and not omniscient.
- *He smiled patronizingly at them* might (or might not) be perfect depending on your context. But, if your story is littered with adverbs from wall to wall, then sure, you might want to find some to cut and this might be one of them.
- *He had a patronizing smile on his face* feels wordy. Redundant. Where else would the smile be? *He wore a patronizing smile* might be better.
- Both examples are distant, removed, external. They almost feel omniscient. If that's the goal, great! The novels I usually read would be more likely to frame the moment as an emotional response or judgment or internal experience (rather than removed and external), again depending on viewpoint. More along the lines of:
- *God, how she hated it when he flashed that patronizing smile.*
- or:
- *He smiled, knowing full well it would come off as patronizing and not giving a single damn.*
- But, again, it will depend on context.
#2: Post edited
by
DPT
·
2020-01-22T18:21:53Z (over 4 years ago)
- "Better" is subjective. Reading popular authors will show you that adverbs are OK--and sometimes quite good--to use. For example, it would be difficult to rephrase something like *They rarely spoke* in a way that was as succinct without adverbs.
- To your examples, it will depend on context. And on the viewpoint character, assuming this is a limited narrative and not omniscient.
- *He smiled patronizingly at them* might (or might not) be perfect depending on your context. But, if your story is littered with adverbs from wall to wall, then sure, you might want to find some to cut and this might be one of them.
- *He had a patronizing smile on his face* feels wordy. Redundant. Where else would the smile be? *He wore a patronizing smile* might be better.
Both examples are distant, removed, external. They almost feel omniscience. If that's the goal, great! The novels I read would be more likely to state this as an emotional response or judgment or internal experience, again depending on viewpoint. More along the lines of:- *God, how she hated it when he flashed that patronizing smile.*
- or:
- *He smiled, knowing full well it would come off as patronizing and not giving a single damn.*
- But, again, it will depend on context.
- "Better" is subjective. Reading popular authors will show you that adverbs are OK--and sometimes quite good--to use. For example, it would be difficult to rephrase something like *They rarely spoke* in a way that was as succinct without adverbs.
- To your examples, it will depend on context. And on the viewpoint character, assuming this is a limited narrative and not omniscient.
- *He smiled patronizingly at them* might (or might not) be perfect depending on your context. But, if your story is littered with adverbs from wall to wall, then sure, you might want to find some to cut and this might be one of them.
- *He had a patronizing smile on his face* feels wordy. Redundant. Where else would the smile be? *He wore a patronizing smile* might be better.
- Both examples are distant, removed, external. They almost feel omniscient. If that's the goal, great! The novels I read would be more likely to state this as an emotional response or judgment or internal experience, again depending on viewpoint. More along the lines of:
- *God, how she hated it when he flashed that patronizing smile.*
- or:
- *He smiled, knowing full well it would come off as patronizing and not giving a single damn.*
- But, again, it will depend on context.
#1: Initial revision
by
DPT
·
2020-01-22T18:21:05Z (over 4 years ago)
"Better" is subjective. Reading popular authors will show you that adverbs are OK--and sometimes quite good--to use. For example, it would be difficult to rephrase something like *They rarely spoke* in a way that was as succinct without adverbs. To your examples, it will depend on context. And on the viewpoint character, assuming this is a limited narrative and not omniscient. *He smiled patronizingly at them* might (or might not) be perfect depending on your context. But, if your story is littered with adverbs from wall to wall, then sure, you might want to find some to cut and this might be one of them. *He had a patronizing smile on his face* feels wordy. Redundant. Where else would the smile be? *He wore a patronizing smile* might be better. Both examples are distant, removed, external. They almost feel omniscience. If that's the goal, great! The novels I read would be more likely to state this as an emotional response or judgment or internal experience, again depending on viewpoint. More along the lines of: *God, how she hated it when he flashed that patronizing smile.* or: *He smiled, knowing full well it would come off as patronizing and not giving a single damn.* But, again, it will depend on context.