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If this is a script being read over a video, then use #1, as #2 doesn't give enough information. It makes me want to hunt around and find actual directions. Suggested fixes: I've never heard "c...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T11:59:59Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/3830 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T01:54:20Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/3830 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
If this is a script being read over a video, then use #1, as #2 doesn't give enough information. It makes me want to hunt around and find actual directions. Suggested fixes: - I've never heard "chance" being used as a verb to mean "gamble." Try "wager" the first time and "the more points you bet" the second. - "All of our videos are short, entertaining, and are welcome **open** to your comments." (No reason to use "of" after "all." One of my pet peeves.) - Query: Do you get a point just for _sharing_ the link, or only if your friend _also_ clicks on it? - Nitpick: "No waiting [semi-colon, not comma] our online store..." - "in our weekly lottery to possibly win **for a chance to win** that week’s grand prize." (This particular split infinitive sounds awkward and is easily reworded.)
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2011-09-05T12:58:41Z (over 12 years ago)
Original score: 2