Post History

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/4513
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Guide lines Q no. 4: This is supposed to be the opening part, but certainly not the whole of the first chapter or page for that matter... I'm not exactly sure anyone would take 30 seconds to read that, and I'm told that's what it takes for a reader to decide on a writer they've never seen or heard of before. So, does it work? And if not, what guidelines do you propose?

* * *

> _‘The world is only just recovering but we continue to punish each other. Independent scientists from around the globe have been unwilling to comment while big names in private research could only give hints that help nothing in the current stream of rumors. Others completely refused to cooperate in what seems to be international governments trying to buy more time. In that regard, NASA has announced that a press conference is to be held hour fifteen-hundred today afternoon at the United Nations Head Quarters in New York, being the only official word we could get up until now, and at the same time reinforcing rumors that authorities so far played catch-up to hide.’_
> 
> “It’s mumbling of which they have no clue,” Tana said, turning from the television to the control HUD projected on the nearest wall; no voice-command in hospitals.
> 
> Adam had been heeding the broadcast, hardly for the news. “Leave it,” Adam told his mother. He gritted his teeth when his body refused to let him adjust his pose; he let go. “Why is she on television?”
> 
> “Actually, many of your friends were asked for… certain jobs today. For Ellie,” she paused, looking at the television, “it looks like the TV’s river of reporters depleted!”
> 
> She had tried to lighten up the atmosphere, when she failed, she tried again, “Oh-- Well... an' she came to see you before they called.”
> 
> One thing specifically caught his thought. “Friends? Jobs?”
> 
> “Isn't she into jour...”
> 
> “I know she's into journalism, but why is she reporting?”
> 
> “The explosion was big, hopefully it went unnoticed... The school was badly damaged, and they're trying to hide it; those not injured were given jobs as... _prodigy_ cases... The last thing they want is minors getting into the mix...”
> 
> Oh, that... He paused and tilted his head; when he did talk, it didn't help that he appeared not to fully understand, and that rarely happened, “Badly, damaged?”
> 
> “Yes. We... You landed... It's Los Angeles.”
> 
> “America? Wh- What the–?” he mumbled and tried to sit only for pain to shoot through his spine again. The next remark was a command, gentle in tone, but not a wish. “Don’t tell me they know. Please don’t.”
> 
> “You want what I think? You should rest. You had nothing to do with it.” She asserted, with a firm look as she adjusted his head on the pillow. “I think people have more pressing matters than a light pop on the moon and a couple of here-says that it was something educational. Politics got our back this time... People have other things to talk about and, apparently, move about,” his mother stopped and pointed at the television projection on the wall.
> 
> The reporter was listening to something through her ear-piece. She seemed increasingly worried; although it was subtle, Adam noticed it. She kept shaking her index finger. She wasn’t _just_ worried; she told more than what she voiced.
> 
> _‘This’s just in: The PHFO has issued a worldwide alert that Atlantic and Pacific coastal areas should be evacuated within two kilo-meters off shore. Again; Atlantic and Pacific coastal areas should be evacuated within two kilo-meters off shore. No government has yet commented on this warning and it remains for public decision. And prayers. This is Elizabeth Wilson, WWN. Reporting live from The White House, Washington D.C..’_
> 
> “My god…”
> 
> **31 days ago...**

Draft 1; Rev. 3 (4 suggestions taken by, the rest underway) Nov. 30, 2011 | 20:40 GMT+00

Note: Does editing the body bump up the question?

Original score: 3