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Q&A Confusing writing in order to show how character is falling asleep - is it OK?

You have to be the careful type. I am annoyed with the repetition of something in your excerpt. "She wanted to fall asleep and sleep but she couldn’t sleep because she couldn’t fall asleep even t...

posted 8y ago by Adit Kirtani‭  ·  last activity 4y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T02:09:41Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/23689
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Adit Kirtani‭ · 2019-12-08T02:09:41Z (over 4 years ago)
You have to be the careful type. I am annoyed with the repetition of something in your excerpt.  
_"She wanted to fall asleep and sleep but she couldn’t sleep because she couldn’t fall asleep even though she was very tired. "_ This was **very annoying** as you have to wrap mind around it. **_But, I_** think you should go for idea, nice to try it and see respone from website like this.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2016-07-05T13:01:42Z (almost 8 years ago)
Original score: 0