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I have written these two sentences: Despite her temper, I loved her still. Or perhaps not despite; perhaps because of. The second sentence feels grammatically incorrect; how can I revis...
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:10:07Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/4893 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Yamikuronue
·
2019-12-08T02:10:07Z (over 4 years ago)
I have written these two sentences: > Despite her temper, I loved her still. > > Or perhaps not despite; perhaps because of. The second sentence feels grammatically incorrect; how can I revise this to be less awkward-sounding yet still punchy? (The thought continues in the rest of the paragraph, explaining his feelings in more depth; this is the end of one paragraph and the beginning of another.) Edit: I came back to the paragraph to give context, decided I didn't like the way it flowed into the next sentence, and ended up changing it entirely: "Or perhaps not despite; that would imply I saw it as a flaw." C'est la first editing pass.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2012-01-27T14:26:22Z (over 12 years ago)
Original score: 2