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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/4989
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/4989
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I try to describe something or someone the first time we meet them, so the reader has something to hold onto, and I do it from the POV of whatever character is in focus at the moment.

So let's say we open with a squabble between a married couple over getting the kids to all their activities over the weekend. Mary says she's going to bed; Jane says she still has work to do and will be up in a hour or so. They kiss goodnight and Mary goes upstairs.

She's still cooling down from the squabble (which I introduced as part of the groundwork that Mary feels constrained by being the keeper of the house and Jane feels put-upon by being the major breadwinner, and each wants the other to pick up more work), so she's feeling a little critical. As she walks up the stairs to the bedroom, she's looking at the stairs, the banister, the hallway, the paintings on the walls, the wallpaper, the carpet, the kids' doors, the guest bathroom. She could be noticing:

- the tread on the stairs is worn and needs to be replaced
- the banister is still the beautiful wood it was when she and Jane installed it when they bought the house, and the pride she felt at doing something so complicated
- the ceiling needs dusting again to get the cobweb in that one corner
- the cat threw up on the throw rug, but he always throws up on the throw rug, to the point where their son Victor calls it "the throw-up rug"
- the watercolor Jane's dad gave them as a wedding gift is a little askew, so she straightens it, and that leads her to wonder if the grandparents could start pitching in for taxi service
- the smell of the plug-in air freshener in the guest bathroom, which Jane keeps obsessively neat

and so on. Then she gets to the bedroom. She turns on the light and glances from one side of the room to the other. Set the scene briefly by describing the furniture (two cherry dressers, which stood out against the soft pink walls; the king-sized bed which Jane insisted on because she's a restless sleeper; matching antique lights on the nightstands which Mary found for a song at a garage sale, etc.), and then you could mention either that there's still laundry piled on the bed to put away, or that Mary is glad she put the laundry away earlier because she just wants to go to bed.

Now you've described a house, a history, and several relationships all in ninety seconds of walking up the stairs.

Follow the character's gaze. Think about what the character is seeing and what it could mean to him or her at that moment. Use the description as a springboard to give us additional information.

Original score: 3