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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/5409
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/5409
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

1) As far as concept, there's nothing to improve. I like this quite a bit. The mystery and the philosophy dovetail nicely. There isn't a lot of action, and whatever "happens" is occurring in dialogue. This works really well.

2) Action tags can be almost anywhere you like; it's mostly a choice of style. As long as it's clear to whom the action belongs, there's no particular rule. I suggested one spot to fix below, but otherwise all your action tags are clear.

3) Minor fixes:

> her lips slightly _parted_

Mouths are open, lips are parted, because there are two and they are parted from one another.

I would put a line break before "She leaned her head..." so that it's clear that the next line of dialogue is hers.

> closed the _bottle_

You can't close a glass, and he wouldn't be returning the glass to the shelf.

Either:

> _"What_ does it look like?"

OR

> "_How_ does it look?"
> 
> washed _his_ hands

Either:

> was in _the_ right place

OR

> was in _its_ place
> 
> _What's this drink_ called?

That's important, so that we know she means the drink and not the philosophical concept he's discussing.

> started drawing circles

They're not imaginary because she's drawing them on the glass, even if she's not writing them with ink.

> she continued, "there is

Comma instead of period, lowercase T

Original score: 2