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The paragraph starting "Recently" is where you go vegetarian. You set up your pitch in the first three paras, state your premise in the fourth, play a little devil's advocate in the fifth... and th...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:08Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/5475 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:19:03Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/5475 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
The paragraph starting "Recently" is where you go vegetarian. You set up your pitch in the first three paras, state your premise in the fourth, play a little devil's advocate in the fifth... and then trail off. You've removed the status quo, but you haven't replaced it with anything. Yes, commercials exist; yes, they generally bore the viewer; yes, they exist so companies can sell products. You've defined the problem and the reason for the problem. Now you have to present alternatives. If the problems are "Creating TV ain't free" and "advertisements in the middle of TV shows are boring and disruptive," then you must provide other solutions. What about cable TV? what about streaming TV? what about product placement? what's an entirely different model we haven't seen yet? Separately, I don't mind the "Okay, I know what you're thinking," because the article is clearly chatty and informal in tone, and it works with that.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2012-04-23T14:24:25Z (over 12 years ago)
Original score: 3