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Q&A How do I cleanly show the passage of time, with multiple, varying time scales?

Firstly, while I like HP, I am not sure they are the best style guide for a writer. They are not all especially well written. The stories and concepts behind them are superb, which is what captured...

posted 12y ago by Schroedingers Cat‭  ·  last activity 5y ago by System‭

Answer
#3: Attribution notice added by user avatar System‭ · 2019-12-08T02:19:10Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/5479
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision by user avatar Schroedingers Cat‭ · 2019-12-08T02:19:10Z (almost 5 years ago)
Firstly, while I like HP, I am not sure they are the best style guide for a writer. They are not all especially well written. The stories and concepts behind them are superb, which is what captured the readers imagination.

Secondly, the writer is describing the critical events, and giving the timescales around them. The time for Harry to put on the owl costume, and walk to the centre of the plaza are irrelevant, and so ignored - you get a sense of immediacy. The more detail you put into your descriptions of events, the more closely you will appear to be following them:

"Harry walked slowly to the bathroom, and started to put on his owl costume. He lowered the main part over his head, and let the straps rest on his shoulders, feeling the weight, balancing the costume. Carefully and slowly he tried moving like an owl would - slowly, but purposefully...."

You get a sense of every moment being described, and the sense is even slower than your example.

Then, if you brush over events or times - this can be an afternoon, or weeks or months, then they will pass quickly. But make sure things are happening - don't leave your characters in limbo. So:

"Hermione studied hard, attending all of her classes that term, and spending most of her spare time doing homework"

You have most of a term taken, not doing nothing, but doing nothing that is specifically relevant. So making sure that you know what your characters should be doing when not progressing the plot is important, and varying it, or tweaking it to reflect their emotions. This is their background, their core persona, and there can be something useful in this for later....

"Suddenly, Hermione remembered something she had studied last term - something about the Burberry tree." - her constant study provides the justification for her knowing some obscure piece of information.

HTH.

Edit - so, to take a previous example, you may do:

"Harry walked slowly to the bathroom, and started to put on his owl costume. He lowered the main part over his head, and let the straps rest on his shoulders, feeling the weight, balancing the costume. Carefully and slowly he tried moving like an owl would - slowly, but purposefully. Harry took an hour, maybe more to don the costume and become happy with it, before starting his afternoons rampage around the square."

OK, a little stilted, and I would write the first part differently if I was doing this, but the concept is there.

#1: Imported from external source by user avatar System‭ · 2012-04-24T08:15:34Z (over 12 years ago)
Original score: 1