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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/5806
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Is the following first-person POV introduction good, or would it be helped by switching the story to third-person limited? The book is very action-centric, involving a good deal of fights and large-scale battles, and I would like to know if I can achieve the excitement I want from a first-person perspective.

> Logan cranked the winch, closing the gate behind us before the rest of the bastards could get at us. We were stuck in the alley now, just me, Logan, and Crank; opposite the Iron Gate was the city wall, built for protection against raiders. Turned out it was better for boxing in Mercs. A nearby crate offered a place to rest while we awaited the inevitable, so I sat and turned to look at my companions.
> 
> Logan was in his early twenties, handsome, with long black hair and a slender body that could have belonged to a girl. Crank was nearly the exact opposite; he was approaching thirty, with a scarred face and a stout, if short, build. I had only known them for about eight hours, but I knew that Crank was the leader of the two; he was not as smart as Logan, but his cruelty and Logan’s inferiority complex, made him dominant.
> 
> Predictably, Crank was the first to speak: “Well, what do we do now?! The regiment’s been routed and the city’s as good as taken, while we’re stuck here, waiting to get captured! That damned colonel should’ve planned the defenses better!” he huffed and growled; I had seen many men like him, always angry with their lot in the world, always blaming it on someone else. Nevertheless, he was right. We were stuck here, and unless ELITE pulled some mercy out of their ass, an unlikely event, given their reputation, we were dead.
> 
> I didn’t let that bother me; after all, this was hardly the worst situation I had been in in my ten years of battlefield experience. My apathetic attitude was quickly remarked upon by Logan, in his halting, shy way of speech “L-Lead? You don’t seem bothered by this. Do ya…do ya have a plan?” He looked suddenly hopeful, and Crank perked up to hear what I said. They were desperate, willing to follow a fifteen year-old boy’s commands. That gave me an idea.
> 
> “As a matter of fact, I do have an idea that could get us out of Shattri. Only thing is, it’s dangerous;” I said, running the operation through my head as I spoke, “first, you two will distract the soldiers outside…”
> 
> ___
> 
> I slipped out of the west gate with no problem, mostly due to the fact that the fighting still continued, though it looked to be an easy victory for ELITE here. Crank and Logan had done their job perfectly, leaving no one to witness my escape; the next part of the plan was for me to kill the soldiers while they were after them, but I had taken the opportunity to get out while they were being chased. What idiots. One would have to be insane to have thought my plan would work, even crazier to think that I would actually do my part in it. But, desperation breeds stupidity.

Original score: 3