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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/34540
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/34540
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

To me the structure is fine, but your POV character definitely needs an arc, and a goal, These trips should have an arc that mirrors hers.

**My example, off the top of my head:**

She may, on the first two, not realize the connection, but after the third should definitely see it. There needs to be an escalation in what she accomplishes, perhaps a setback due to an unexpected outcome. There needs to be a **reason** she stops these trips after the ninth: She has done her thing, the hole itself is gone, etc. Perhaps in the end, she has successfully rescued her ill (or dead) mother (or father, or friend).

Nine instances of "A changed B", "C changed D", etc, all isolated instances, will not be that entertaining. The novel should have a setup (Act I) that ends in a crisis, something she did not want to happen. She works to correct that, and has worse setbacks (Act II), but gains greater understanding of how the hole **_works_** , and then has a small victory (she fixed something she broke) to end ACT II, then after trip 8 she finally understands how the hole works: But for trip 9, knowing that, she risks a great deal to make a change as drastic as preventing her father from being killed in a car accident, she might risk death herself. But she undertakes it anyway, because she has steel, and she succeeds. But as soon as she exits the hole, one of the changes she has caused makes the hole seal up before her eyes.

You get only one big one, kid. Then her father walks in the room, and tells her if she doesn't get her room clean TODAY she will be grounded for a MONTH! Then she flies into his arms.

Original score: 3