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"Is it okay..." and "Can I..." are subjective. It's about context. Are the sentences grammatically correct? Strictly speaking, no. But you are clearly writing in a first-person, casual, stream-of-...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:13Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/6734 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:36:07Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/6734 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
"Is it okay..." and "Can I..." are subjective. It's about context. Are the sentences grammatically correct? Strictly speaking, no. But you are clearly writing in a first-person, casual, stream-of-consciousness dictation style, so they are perfectly fine for that. Speaking as an editor, as long as this is your character's/narrator's voice, and you're consistent, I would be entirely fine with this type of writing, and wouldn't mark it up to be "fixed."
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2012-11-29T00:49:02Z (almost 12 years ago)
Original score: 5