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Actually, this is the only situation where run-on sentences should be used (and work better than short sentences). In ordinary situations they should be avoided like the plague, but if you really w...
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#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:39:36Z (over 4 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/6998 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Tannalein
·
2019-12-08T02:39:36Z (over 4 years ago)
Actually, this is the only situation where run-on sentences should be used (and work better than short sentences). In ordinary situations they should be avoided like the plague, but if you really want to translate that the character is tired or nervous or upset, run-on sentences are the way to go. Especially tired or rushed, because the reader will also be slightly out of breath, so to say, after reading the whole sentence (and tired after reading several of them), which is actually something we want in this case. So I'd say you're good, don't change a thing ;)
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2013-01-06T22:26:16Z (over 11 years ago)
Original score: 2