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You have broken and punctuated it correctly. But if you're worried about the she continued, then change it up a little: "Well," Antimony began, taking a deep, thoughtful breath, and stepping ...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:14Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/7210 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:42:53Z (about 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/7210 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
You have broken and punctuated it correctly. But if you're worried about the _she continued,_ then change it up a little: > "Well," Antimony began, taking a deep, thoughtful breath, and stepping a little closer. "If you fill the 5 pound sack, and then empty it into a 3 pound sack, you'll have 2 pounds left over. Then you can empty the 3 pound sack back into your barrel, and transfer the two pounds of lentils into the three pound sack." > > He watched her thoughtfully, but didn't interrupt. She continued. "You can fill the 5 pound sack again..." So you move _she continued_ to the beginning of the sentence and add another few words of stage business, and that's enough of a separator that it doesn't look so odd. It also resolves the "close-quote" question, because if you're adding narration, even though she's the same speaker, you have to close and open quotes.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2013-02-02T13:12:09Z (almost 12 years ago)
Original score: 3