Post History
The following dialogue is from a novel I'm writing (first draft): "You're quiet tonight," Erin said to Benjamin, who seemed to be lost in thoughts. He looked up and took a sip of his dri...
#3: Attribution notice added
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/7217 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
The following dialogue is from a novel I'm writing (first draft): > "You're quiet tonight," Erin said to Benjamin, who seemed to be lost in thoughts. > > He looked up and took a sip of his drink. "I'm a bit tired, that all." > > "Too much work?" > > "Yeah, it's killing me, you know. My boss should really hire more teachers." > > "Why don't you find something else? You've been doing this for a while. I bet you can find something better." > > "It's hard to find a job these days. What if I quit and can't find another? I don't want to end up sleeping in a park and drink cheap sake from a paper bag." > > Erin laughed. "That would never happen. No matter what, you can always move to my place." > > "I don't think that would be a good idea. You know what they say: living together before marriage kill relationships." > > ... > > "By the way," Erin suddenly said while tracing circles on the rim of her glass, “is that new co-worker bothering you? You know, the one who talks to you all the time." > > Benjamin took a sip of his drink. "What's wrong? You're jealous?" > > "Nah," Erin said, looking to the side, "just asking." > > "She's just talkative, that's all. Besides, she's new. She just want to learn as much as she can." > > "I see," Erin said, half-smiling. > > "You never ask these kind of questions," Benjamin said with a suspicious look. "Is there something wrong?" > > ... > > "That's right," Benjamin said after a moment. "Did you feel the earthquake last night?" > > Erin was about to sip her glass but then stopped. She looked up, and stared at Benjamin with her lips slightly parted. _Am I the only one who missed the earthquake?_ She wondered if she was indeed living in the same city as everyone else. Each part of the dialogue reveals something about the characters. But I feel the first part is very dull (I guess the second part is more exciting). And the third part is the "climax" of the dialogue. What should I do in cases like this? Should I remove the dull part completely or should I keep it?