Post History

Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/7271
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

For the 'who is this application for' section of an application user guide, I have the following alternatives, I'm not happy with either one. How can I convey both elements more clearly and consisely?

What I want to convey:

1. The business functions related to the specific metric ==\> who in the sense of who might have to deal with the issue
2. Why they would care ==\> The specific issue the the application is meant to resolve

Current:

> The intended audience is anyone tasked to ensure the accuracy of [analytic metric] generated by the their implementation of the [Specific Analytic Software] Platform, whether for [business function A], [business function B], [business function C], or [business function D].

Proposed:

> The intended audience includes personnel tasked with ensuring the accuracy of [analytic metric] sourced from the [Specific Analytic Software] Platform. This information could be included within any of the following: [business function A], [business function B], [business function C], or [business function D].

**Update**

Based on your proposed solutions, here is my current, much improved take:

> This application is for anyone in [business function A], [business function B], [business function C], or [business function D] who compiles [analytic metric] using (ESP). It is designed to help you ensure the accuracy of the [analytic metric] by connecting to ESP to generate and collect, in just a few minutes, related analytic and underlying data that would otherwise take hours to compile. The compiled information is then organised and presented in a way that makes troubleshooting and documenting specific [analytic metric] values easier.

Comments?

Original score: 5