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I pretty much agree with what's been stated about the examples you gave. Writing, particularly fiction writing, usually focuses on evoking emotions in the reader. We often read fiction because we ...
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#1: Initial revision
I pretty much agree with what's been stated about the examples you gave. Writing, particularly fiction writing, usually focuses on evoking *emotions* in the reader. We often read fiction because we want to *feel* something. The emotions felt by the reader can be based on the reader's memories, but they don't necessarily have to be. For example, a large portion of mystery readers probably *haven't* been threatened at gunpoint. (The emotions you're trying to evoke in the reader do have to be based on something that the reader can somehow relate to, though. To someone who doesn't know what a gun is and what it represents, the fact that someone is pointing one at another person carries little significance.) There's a good number of times when trying to be more specific, or using bombastic words, simply has the opposite effect. Food that explodes? (I wouldn't want to eat *that!*) Eating seeds makes the character less hungry? (Isn't that often the *point* of eating?) The food runs wild? (Just how fresh *is* this steak, Mister?) A snippet from something I'm working on in my spare time: > As I sat down, \[the hostess\] was cutting thin slices out of a large, juicy looking and delicious smelling steak, accompanied by mashed potatoes, vegetables and gravy. \[...\] I reached for one of the glasses and some water. The water turned out to be quite cold, and tasted wonderful. > > When I took my first bite, I had to refrain from letting out an "oh my God"; that had to be the best meat I had ever eaten. The steak was at once juicy and tender on the one hand, and heavy and lean on the other. \[...\] Now, obviously I'm somewhat biased, but notice something here? I don't actually *describe* any of the tastes. (And no, that's not in the parts that I omitted, either.) That part is entirely up to the reader's imagination. I do spend a moment describing the texture of the food, but not the taste. What we get instead is a glimpse into the POV character's mind, and the emotional reactions of that character, upon taking that first bite. While the food is obviously *present*, it's not the sole focal point of the scene. Consider the snippet above and that which Galastel posted from *The Lion, The Witch and the Wardrobe*. What emotions do those two trigger in you? Now compare those to the two snippets you included in your question; what emotions do *those* trigger in you? How do the emotions compare? Because, again, that's what you're usually ultimately going for in fiction writing: emotions on the part of the reader. Basically, if something you've written doesn't evoke emotions in you, then why do you expect the reader to care *more* about what happens?