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#2: Post edited by user avatar Monica Cellio‭ · 2020-05-17T17:30:47Z (over 2 years ago)
  • My reaction is similar to [this answer](https://writing.codidact.com/a/74952/74957). I want to focus a little more on the "how" part.
  • An omniscient narrator can get into any character's head, as you said. You want to switch to first-person, maybe to focus ("we're following *this* character") or maybe to get deeper thoughts than narrate well (too many "X thought"s and "Y contemplated"s feel clunky). But there's a style of third-person narration that *still* lets you do that: revealing a character's inner voice. You can present the inner voice alongside action and dialogue.
  • This needs to be set off typographically. I'm used to seeing italics for this. So you'd have something like:
  • > "Yeah boss, I can do that", Mark conceded. *Again.*
  • > "Good. Have it on my desk by Monday."
  • > With every step he took from Peter's office he grew more irritated. *Why is it always me? _I'm_ not the one who forgot to fill out those TPS reports. I _told_ him that Sam had dropped the ball again. I shouldn't have to clean up after that loser just because he's the CEO's kid.*
  • > He felt his jaw tighten into a snarl. *Calm down, Mark. Can't let that show.* He took a deep breath, with effort relaxed into a neutral expression, and continued toward his cubicle, just in time to pass Sam on what must have been his sixth trip to the breakroom that morning.
  • Like [this answer](https://writing.codidact.com/a/74952/74957), I don't think you need to use first-person to get into a character's head. I want to focus a little more on how to do that in omniscient third-person.
  • An omniscient narrator can get into any character's head, as you said. You want to switch to first-person, maybe to focus ("we're following *this* character") or maybe to get deeper thoughts than narrate well (too many "X thought"s and "Y contemplated"s feel clunky). But there's a style of third-person narration that *still* lets you do that: revealing a character's inner voice. You can present the inner voice alongside action and dialogue.
  • This needs to be set off typographically. I'm used to seeing italics for this. So you'd have something like:
  • > "Yeah boss, I can do that", Mark conceded. *Again.*
  • > "Good. Have it on my desk by Monday."
  • > With every step he took from Peter's office he grew more irritated. *Why is it always me? _I'm_ not the one who forgot to fill out those TPS reports. I _told_ him that Sam had dropped the ball again. I shouldn't have to clean up after that loser just because he's the CEO's kid.*
  • > He felt his jaw tighten into a snarl. *Calm down, Mark. Can't let that show.* He took a deep breath, with effort relaxed into a neutral expression, and continued toward his cubicle, just in time to pass Sam on what must have been his sixth trip to the breakroom that morning.
#1: Initial revision by user avatar Monica Cellio‭ · 2020-05-15T21:31:54Z (over 2 years ago)
My reaction is similar to [this answer](https://writing.codidact.com/a/74952/74957).  I want to focus a little more on the "how" part.

An omniscient narrator can get into any character's head, as you said.  You want to switch to first-person, maybe to focus ("we're following *this* character") or maybe to get deeper thoughts than narrate well (too many "X thought"s and "Y contemplated"s feel clunky).  But there's a style of third-person narration that *still* lets you do that: revealing a character's inner voice.  You can present the inner voice alongside action and dialogue.

This needs to be set off typographically.  I'm used to seeing italics for this.  So you'd have something like:

> "Yeah boss, I can do that", Mark conceded.  *Again.*

> "Good.  Have it on my desk by Monday."

> With every step he took from Peter's office he grew more irritated.  *Why is it always me?  _I'm_ not the one who forgot to fill out those TPS reports.  I _told_ him that Sam had dropped the ball again.  I shouldn't have to clean up after that loser just because he's the CEO's kid.*

> He felt his jaw tighten into a snarl. *Calm down, Mark.  Can't let that show.*  He took a deep breath, with effort relaxed into a neutral expression, and continued toward his cubicle, just in time to pass Sam on what must have been his sixth trip to the breakroom that morning.