Post History
I think your first example is perfect, making sure that you drop out words from the speaker to indicate the passage of time as your foreground characters are talking "over" the speaker. It makes pe...
Answer
#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:16Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/7763 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:50:42Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/7763 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
I think your first example is perfect, making sure that you drop out words from the speaker to indicate the passage of time as your foreground characters are talking "over" the speaker. It makes perfect sense to me as a reader what's occurring.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2013-04-27T18:33:53Z (over 11 years ago)
Original score: 6