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I saw an effective example of this in 1634: The Baltic War (David Weber & Eric Flint) recently. The factors that made it work were: The background speech was in italics (as you've done here)...
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#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:50:43Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/8663 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
I saw an effective example of this in _1634: The Baltic War_ (David Weber & Eric Flint) recently. The factors that made it work were: - The background speech was in italics (as you've done here). - The passages of background speech began and ended in the middle of sentences. - There wasn't a lot of back-and-forth; for every speech chunk there were at least a few paragraphs of foreground action. - The content of the speech clearly showed passage of time (as suggested by Lauren Ipsum). As I read this I felt that this was a familiar technique -- surely I've seen it before.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2013-08-19T13:23:45Z (over 11 years ago)
Original score: 2