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The dense pine forest was stained black as pitch (I don't know if you're aware, but "pitch" actually means "pine tar." It's pine sap cooked down until it's thick enough to spread like peanut b...
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#4: Attribution notice removed
by
System
·
2019-12-13T12:00:16Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/8020 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:54:01Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/8020 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
> The dense pine forest was stained black as pitch (I don't know if you're aware, but "pitch" actually means "pine tar." It's pine sap cooked down until it's thick enough to spread like peanut butter. So if you're talking about a dark _pine_ forest, _pitch-black_ makes the most literal sense.) Go for the emotion in it: > I also recalled one night that the starless void seemed to fill my soul, when I realized that as long as he existed, I wouldn't ever amount to anything more than third-rate. I don't know if your translation allows it, but you could recast the sentence: > He did not reply. His terrifying eyes were like open pits, deep and blank and impossible to read. > > How could I not be fearful of the night that was swallowing the world in front of me in its utter darkness?
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2013-06-02T18:50:10Z (over 11 years ago)
Original score: 3