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I wrote the following: Under the shelter of the inn, a barbecue was taking place, red coal glowing in the dark and tiny sparks fluttering around from time to time. or should I change it t...
Question
creative-writing
#3: Attribution notice added
by
System
·
2019-12-08T02:56:10Z (almost 5 years ago)
Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/8170 License name: CC BY-SA 3.0 License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/
#2: Initial revision
by
Alexandro Chen
·
2019-12-08T02:56:10Z (almost 5 years ago)
I wrote the following: > Under the shelter of the inn, a barbecue was taking place, **red coal glowing in the dark and tiny sparks fluttering around from time to time.** or should I change it to: > Under the shelter of the inn, a barbecue was taking place. **The red coal glowed in the dark and tiny sparks fluttered around from time to time.** I know I can do this: > She was walking by the shore, her hair fluttering in the wind. But I'm not very sure about the first example.
#1: Imported from external source
by
System
·
2013-06-15T10:57:15Z (over 11 years ago)
Original score: 3