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Tone and directness in inviting prospective team member [closed]

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Closed by System‭ on May 3, 2018 at 15:58

This question was closed; new answers can no longer be added. Users with the reopen privilege may vote to reopen this question if it has been improved or closed incorrectly.

I'm organising a project in the near future and am emailing people, which profiles I found on Linkedin, that I would like to work with. What I'm trying to get across is that it's going to be an exciting venture for them to be a part with and they should contact me if they are interested. This is what I have so far. I would just like feedback on what I should improve, change etc. Thank you all in advance for your help:

EMAIL:

Hello [name]

My name is [name] and I am contacting you on behalf of [company].

Over the past few weeks we have been seeking individuals who can contribute to our project. So it was with joy that we came across your Linkedin and subsequent online profiles. So to cut to the chase we would like to invite you to join the team.

If you feel this is of interest to you please reply to this email or ring me to speak about the project in further detail.

Yours sincerely
[name]
[twitter]

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This post was sourced from https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/8305. It is licensed under CC BY-SA 3.0.

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