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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/q/8405
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

I recently finished reading William Strunk's [Elements of Style](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Elements_of_Style). The book mostly teaches how to write concise paragraphs (e.g. by removing, changing, and rearranging words).

So I decided to apply that to my writing:

> Saki practically spent everyday absorbed in other of her favorite pastimes: making porcelain dolls. She had set a mini-studio in her room which mainly consisted on a sewing machine, a large adjustable desk, and a flexible lamp. Hanging on a wall, she had a wide variety of fabrics in all patterns and colors. Beneath, she kept the doll's naked bodies and a tin can filled with tiny glass eyes. The finished dolls sat on the many shelves around the room; , and they were almost of all styles: Japanese, Chinese, Indian, African, even one shaped as a Tim Burton character. Her room had the characteristics of a was a true doll factory.
> 
> Although she had nearly a hundred of dolls, she never sold any. Nor had planned to do so in the future. She just enjoyed making them The joy of making them was enough for her. She liked the fact that how she could turn them into anything she wanted them to become. Or, as Saki put it herself: into anything _they_ wanted to become. Each doll had a flower inside, waiting to bloom. All that Saki had to do was to bring it out. It felt so easy and natural to Saki she sometimes felt the dolls where the ones building themselves.

Are there times when it's better to be redundant in order to vary pacing or add flavor to the novel? Or is conciseness a rule every fiction writer should follow (with no exceptions)?

(Most of the time I try to write like I talk. Some say it's a good approach, specially for beginners. But that won't produce very concise sentences, since people ramble a lot while they speak.)

Original score: 3