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Source: https://writers.stackexchange.com/a/8422
License name: CC BY-SA 3.0
License URL: https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/

In a way, the advice to cut out unnecessary words _is_ solid advice. The trouble is working out what is "unnecessary". By the time you can work that out, you probably don't need the advice any more.

Too many writers think it means that every word needs to be communicating new information, which is fine if you are just trying to get facts across. But in creative writing the words can be there for lots of other reasons such as adding to the mood or helping the "flow" of the narrative. Quite a few of the words you have struck out as unnecessary I would leave in. Some you have left in I would strike out.

Rather than learning "rules" of good style, it's far better to learn to be aware of what effect a particular style has on the reader. Then you can choose your style for the effect you want _at that particular point_.

Before you get down to cutting out words, I think you need to pay more attention to grammar (or write in your native language if that's not English) because there are quite a few issues in that passage. Also, be careful of vague descriptions such as "wide variety of fabrics", "many shelves". The vague descriptions are telling us things it's good to know, but in a bland way. And are those fabrics hanging on the wall as a sort of patchwork wall-hanging, or are there rolls of them on hooks?

Original score: 3